Feels like I'm going to lose my mind

I have to be honest… I find it very hard to believe my behavior is that different from everyone else. The whole “normal people don’t react this way” sometimes sounds like pure bullshit. Maybe, they can hide it better, but inside they feel just as bad.
That’s my problem, my real problem then: I can’t hide or act out my feelings. But why? Because is not something I’m able to control it or do I actually chose to let it show? In fact, I can remember the intention of bringing the drama. Do you know why? Because people got to fucking know how wrong they are and I don’t give a shit if I’m the one who’s going to show them. I’ll yell, I’ll curse, I’ll hit the door, I’ll push it as far as I can. Ok, now I see… It’s not so intentional as I thought two seconds ago. It’s impulsive, very impulsive.