Thanks for the consideration

I always thought my mother was the most depressive person I’ve ever met. Like, top 10 depressive lady in the country. But I have become worse. So much worse. Who would’ve thought?

My mother never self-mutilated, snorted, had stimulants overdoses, never burn herself for the “fun” of it. 

I don’t know how many times she has been rejected, but the lady was married (unhappily married) and had kids. 

I have nothing. Not even a pet. The pets I take care of, are not even mine.

I don’t know if she ever been through this: begging the universe for at least ONE good news. At least one reason to smile and think it’s not so bad.
And receiving SHIT back. More rejection, more pain. How can anyone stand it?

My mother is bad nowadays. Still very depressive, totally dependent on antidepressives that hardly work and alzheimer medication.

So what should I wait for my future?

If when she was 26, her situation wasn’t as bad as mine, and yet, she’s totally fucked up today. How much worse am I gonna be?

If I make it there… of course.

Cause all I can think of… is about a way out.